1 00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:27,952 A GHOST IN MY BED 2 00:03:06,128 --> 00:03:11,683 Camillo Fumagalli! Want to get married to Adelaide Ferret? 3 00:03:12,164 --> 00:03:17,286 Yes. Adelaide Ferret, want to get married to Camillo Fumagalli? 4 00:03:17,811 --> 00:03:21,476 Deputy head of department at one of the biggest electronics firms... 5 00:03:21,496 --> 00:03:23,989 ...which makes a good profit? It's a great deal. 6 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:27,327 - Yes. - Yes, but you hesitate, my dear. 7 00:03:27,418 --> 00:03:29,723 - Of course. - Why? 8 00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:33,547 Big deal ... ! A quick wedding ceremony in Tradate ... 9 00:03:34,054 --> 00:03:38,107 Honeymoon tour organized by Trade International ... 10 00:03:38,172 --> 00:03:41,457 550,000 Lira per month for 15 months 11 00:03:41,599 --> 00:03:46,595 just so we can tell friends that I honeymooned in England. 12 00:03:48,059 --> 00:03:51,150 - And the joy of marriage? - Some joy... 13 00:03:51,170 --> 00:03:56,030 - It's not like I married Paul Newman. - Handsome men are no longer in. 14 00:03:56,084 --> 00:03:59,278 - No? So what is 'in'? - Brains, brains ... 15 00:03:59,826 --> 00:04:03,251 The future is assured. Social security, mobility, status ... 16 00:04:03,290 --> 00:04:06,792 - Adelaide, I can't see. - Because of desire, Camillo? 17 00:04:06,837 --> 00:04:09,399 No. Because of the fog! 18 00:04:09,955 --> 00:04:14,516 So Camillo... You're saying we're lost? 19 00:04:14,611 --> 00:04:18,524 Steering wheel left, signs on the right, these Anglo-Saxons ... 20 00:04:18,582 --> 00:04:22,942 ...are not very smart, I say. 21 00:04:22,953 --> 00:04:29,939 Well, Mr. Fumagalli, manager of a company with four factories... 22 00:04:29,992 --> 00:04:33,343 turnover of 48 billion per year... 23 00:04:33,375 --> 00:04:37,736 you have a computer in your brain, tell me what good is it? 24 00:04:38,338 --> 00:04:41,559 We should be there in 20 minutes. Let's do something 'till then. 25 00:04:43,326 --> 00:04:46,470 - Like what? - Let's consummate. 26 00:04:46,519 --> 00:04:49,710 - Consummate what? - Our marriage. 27 00:04:49,749 --> 00:04:52,787 - Here, in the car? - As they say, for better or worse! 28 00:04:53,083 --> 00:04:55,443 - Till death do us part. - Back off! 29 00:04:55,506 --> 00:05:01,077 Impossible. It's impossible to hold back. Impossible to resist any more ... 30 00:05:02,404 --> 00:05:05,747 Aaah! Watch out!!! 31 00:05:06,185 --> 00:05:11,005 Camillo! 32 00:05:12,705 --> 00:05:17,133 - What a headache ... ! - What a thick head! 33 00:05:19,689 --> 00:05:23,840 - See that light? - Yes, I see. 34 00:05:23,925 --> 00:05:27,012 And you see the inn ... ? You're right, it's an inn. 35 00:05:27,106 --> 00:05:29,968 - Why not go there? - Yes. Let's go, dear. 36 00:05:30,004 --> 00:05:33,782 At least we can get warm. This fog is freezing ... 37 00:05:33,804 --> 00:05:37,492 Exactly. Let's go in, darling. 38 00:05:37,573 --> 00:05:39,911 Yes. Let's go. 39 00:05:58,017 --> 00:06:03,185 - When I see you, my eyes go blurry. - Have a cold beer and you'll see better. 40 00:06:06,779 --> 00:06:10,628 - I can see very clearly. - I know ... 41 00:06:11,959 --> 00:06:15,813 - What are you doing, Marian? - Serving. 42 00:06:15,832 --> 00:06:19,837 Well, don't linger. Go and serve other customers. 43 00:06:26,127 --> 00:06:29,840 Lard-arse! 44 00:06:32,014 --> 00:06:36,318 What's so funny? What's up with you all? 45 00:06:42,662 --> 00:06:45,711 Good evening! 46 00:06:48,176 --> 00:06:51,556 Good evening! 47 00:06:56,300 --> 00:06:59,377 - What do you want? - Are you the manager? 48 00:06:59,865 --> 00:07:02,926 - I am the owner, yes. - Alright then ... 49 00:07:02,934 --> 00:07:06,358 Do you know about the International Tourist Trade? 50 00:07:06,386 --> 00:07:10,561 - Do you have a double room? - For you and her? 51 00:07:10,611 --> 00:07:13,201 - Yes, we are married. - Yes. That's right! 52 00:07:14,062 --> 00:07:16,820 We got lost in the fog, eh, darling? 53 00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:19,197 That is true! 54 00:07:19,266 --> 00:07:23,101 Hmmm, well. I'll check. 55 00:07:27,253 --> 00:07:30,918 I think this place is a wax museum! 56 00:07:31,091 --> 00:07:34,567 They stare like owls. How life-like they are! 57 00:07:36,383 --> 00:07:39,385 - Sorry, we do not have rooms. - How so? 58 00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:43,772 - Any other place we can go? - The castle. 59 00:07:43,872 --> 00:07:47,175 A castle? Is it far? 60 00:07:47,210 --> 00:07:50,361 No. About a kilometer, at the top of the hill. 61 00:07:50,432 --> 00:07:53,832 You hear that, honey? Let's go to the castle. 62 00:07:54,415 --> 00:07:57,416 - Thank you! - Bye. 63 00:07:58,766 --> 00:08:02,965 - Marian, wasn't there one room? - I do not know, Terence. 64 00:08:03,719 --> 00:08:06,968 You never know anything. Only thing you know ... 65 00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:10,793 ...is how to wiggle that bum all day! 66 00:08:34,224 --> 00:08:39,266 - Come to me, my dears! - M'lord, I'm so excited, my hump is throbbing! 67 00:08:40,564 --> 00:08:45,529 Bravo, Angus! Just once ... Bravo! 68 00:08:45,963 --> 00:08:49,977 Let me touch your hump, for luck ... 69 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:16,537 How wonderful! Look how grand it is, my dear! 70 00:09:20,544 --> 00:09:24,853 Nice, eh? You like it, ma'am? Or do you want a bigger one? 71 00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:29,398 Not bad at all... How much do you think it will cost? 72 00:09:29,901 --> 00:09:33,493 No matter how much it costs, we'll spend our first night here. 73 00:09:33,946 --> 00:09:37,337 - Prepare, Angus! - For what, Baron? 74 00:09:37,428 --> 00:09:40,783 For battle, copulation, victory, triumph ... 75 00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:45,654 A girl from beyond the sea. A foreigner from the exotic Mediterranean! 76 00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:48,365 - The boisterous bottom ... - Angus! 77 00:09:48,411 --> 00:09:51,069 Oh, excuse me! 78 00:09:53,152 --> 00:09:56,474 They have a well. A wishing well. 79 00:09:56,561 --> 00:09:58,280 What will you wish for? 80 00:09:58,327 --> 00:10:03,325 To spend a wonderful night here with the beautiful Adelaide Fumagalli. 81 00:10:09,387 --> 00:10:12,182 - Owwwwwww! - Did you hear, my dear? 82 00:10:12,182 --> 00:10:16,260 I thought I was ... ! 83 00:10:18,912 --> 00:10:22,418 - Did you hurt yourself, baby? - I've been better. 84 00:10:22,431 --> 00:10:25,031 Do not throw stones! 85 00:10:25,941 --> 00:10:30,687 Must be some naughty children here. 86 00:10:30,687 --> 00:10:33,244 - Now what, honey? - Ring the bell. 87 00:10:33,253 --> 00:10:35,465 Yes, the bell. 88 00:10:41,448 --> 00:10:47,146 - Hello, is anyone in the castle? - You'll see ... ! 89 00:10:49,104 --> 00:10:53,854 Keep ringing, ring, ring ... ! 90 00:10:56,543 --> 00:11:00,004 Is there nobody in the castle? 91 00:11:01,205 --> 00:11:04,632 Nobody. Let's go. Seems very strange. 92 00:11:04,716 --> 00:11:08,118 Where can we go at this hour? I'm tired. 93 00:11:11,821 --> 00:11:14,854 Did the door open by itself? Yes, it opened by itself. 94 00:11:14,885 --> 00:11:18,293 No. Maybe someone opened it. Come, let's go. 95 00:11:19,085 --> 00:11:22,297 Can we go? 96 00:11:22,462 --> 00:11:27,386 I will go in first. If something happens, I'll be the first. 97 00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:31,248 Anybody here? 98 00:11:32,499 --> 00:11:36,368 - Somebody will surely be in the castle. - Hopefully. 99 00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:41,085 Adelaide, I don't like it here. This place gives me the creeps. 100 00:11:41,179 --> 00:11:45,508 You shout and your echo replies. Doors open by themselves... 101 00:11:45,930 --> 00:11:49,910 We should go to the car, fold down the seats and consummate our marriage. 102 00:11:52,443 --> 00:11:57,192 Welcome to Blackcastle, Mr and Mrs Fumagalli! 103 00:11:58,111 --> 00:12:01,657 We were expected, good. 104 00:12:02,176 --> 00:12:05,814 We got lost in the fog, and we're very cold. 105 00:12:06,516 --> 00:12:10,827 Look! A young and inexperienced servant. 106 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:15,409 And you can see, my friend, the difference between a local rump ... 107 00:12:15,874 --> 00:12:19,868 and a derriere from the Mediterranean. That's not an arse, it is a golden treasure... 108 00:12:20,370 --> 00:12:24,554 and where did it get Morgan the pirate? 109 00:12:25,002 --> 00:12:28,591 - Up the back alley? - Shut up, fool! 110 00:12:28,677 --> 00:12:30,910 Let's get to work. 111 00:12:35,942 --> 00:12:39,357 Charge ... 112 00:12:45,750 --> 00:12:49,851 This is the salon. I am the last descendant of the Trenton clan. 113 00:12:49,872 --> 00:12:53,388 The Westmore barons, dukes of Blackcastle. 114 00:12:56,199 --> 00:13:00,523 This is my room. This is the gallery. 115 00:13:00,668 --> 00:13:04,658 This is the famous Baron, Sir Archibald Trenton! 116 00:13:05,158 --> 00:13:07,840 Here are the guest rooms. 117 00:13:13,045 --> 00:13:16,483 - Come on, baby. - Yes, my dear. 118 00:13:20,237 --> 00:13:24,114 This is your room. 119 00:13:26,507 --> 00:13:30,086 This is a historic bed, witness to many... - experiences? 120 00:13:30,613 --> 00:13:34,647 Mrs. Fumagalli, I'll show you the bathroom. 121 00:13:39,129 --> 00:13:42,753 - Finally! - I assume you have not dined. 122 00:13:42,799 --> 00:13:44,589 No. 123 00:13:44,647 --> 00:13:47,390 Indeed, as my wife tells you ... 124 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:52,302 we are absolutely famished after our long journey. 125 00:13:52,780 --> 00:13:55,412 Well. When you are ready, come to the lounge. 126 00:13:55,933 --> 00:13:59,061 Thank you, Baroness! 127 00:13:59,153 --> 00:14:03,235 What hospitality! What elegance! 128 00:14:03,852 --> 00:14:07,311 - I think she's a spinster. - You do not understand. 129 00:14:07,365 --> 00:14:10,512 Hungry, honey? - Well ... 130 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:24,177 Adelaide! I'm hungry for you! 131 00:14:26,932 --> 00:14:29,644 My love, did I hurt you? 132 00:14:29,688 --> 00:14:33,284 - No. I feel fine. - Bravo, darling! 133 00:14:33,310 --> 00:14:36,665 - I'm going to take a shower. - Bravo! 134 00:14:37,864 --> 00:14:39,439 - Adelaide! - Yes, dear. 135 00:14:39,475 --> 00:14:43,603 You know I'm ... 136 00:14:44,291 --> 00:14:48,065 five years of engagement ... and ... 137 00:14:48,947 --> 00:14:53,241 I have a burning desire ... to touch you ... 138 00:14:54,088 --> 00:14:57,287 That's all we have. Just potatoes and onions. 139 00:14:57,341 --> 00:15:01,195 - What can I do with these? - Josephine! You can't handle anything. 140 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:05,887 I can't handle it if you don't give me material to work with, decayed noble figure. 141 00:15:06,186 --> 00:15:09,387 You're the cook, deal with it. 142 00:15:09,481 --> 00:15:12,947 I'm going to arrange the table, so that it's worthy of the Trenton family name. 143 00:15:13,755 --> 00:15:17,327 Blackcastle herring with mashed onion, or... 144 00:15:17,797 --> 00:15:22,962 Blackcastle onion with mashed herring? That's the problem! 145 00:15:24,030 --> 00:15:27,233 Try to understand me. Man is made of flesh, not iron. 146 00:15:27,235 --> 00:15:32,130 And the flesh is weak! Five years ... 147 00:15:32,166 --> 00:15:35,354 You waited five years, can't you wait a few more minutes? 148 00:15:35,515 --> 00:15:39,298 - No. - Yes, you can ... 149 00:15:40,379 --> 00:15:44,236 - No. - Yeah, baby. Ciao! 150 00:15:51,977 --> 00:15:56,534 Angus, singers illustrate the uniqueness of the Mediterranean bottom. 151 00:15:57,114 --> 00:16:00,651 I must tell you that the rest is of sublime proportions. 152 00:16:00,914 --> 00:16:05,742 - View the pectoral! - Yes, sir, but I must say ... 153 00:16:06,096 --> 00:16:09,501 - It's all swollen ... - Shut up, you idiot! Look. 154 00:16:11,502 --> 00:16:16,994 Angus, stop masturbating, you little oaf. 155 00:16:18,395 --> 00:16:22,084 - Watch! - Yes, m'Lord, but ... 156 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:25,161 Stop it, Angus! 157 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:30,286 What luscious curves, what form ... 158 00:16:30,319 --> 00:16:34,294 Let's see what we can do ... 159 00:16:34,743 --> 00:16:37,727 Come, Angus! 160 00:16:44,139 --> 00:16:48,213 What are you doing, Camillo? 161 00:16:48,227 --> 00:16:52,333 Camillo! Cut the crap. 162 00:16:53,163 --> 00:16:56,603 - "What a nice ass!" - Where are you, Camillo? 163 00:16:57,326 --> 00:17:00,913 I don't like this nonsense. 164 00:17:00,992 --> 00:17:06,034 Camillo! 165 00:17:08,218 --> 00:17:11,835 - You called me, my dear? - Camillo ... ! 166 00:17:11,849 --> 00:17:14,632 Why do you sit with the lights off? 167 00:17:14,636 --> 00:17:18,868 - You know very well why the lights were off - I do not know what you mean. 168 00:17:18,984 --> 00:17:22,448 Quit this crap. I didn't know I have a hungry wolf for a hubby. 169 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:27,049 - Sure I'm hungry, but ... - I know what you are hungry for! 170 00:17:27,388 --> 00:17:31,027 Out! Get away! Let me wash myself. 171 00:17:33,132 --> 00:17:36,085 You hear that, Angus? Our guests are hungry. 172 00:17:36,158 --> 00:17:38,840 Let's prepare the meal. 173 00:17:40,483 --> 00:17:44,975 Got it, Angus? We need to distract the crowd, and get the food. 174 00:17:45,436 --> 00:17:49,005 We could use Miss bodacious here. 175 00:17:49,032 --> 00:17:52,818 Angus! You're right. The landlady will be perfect. Let's get to work. 176 00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:56,341 Yes, my lord. As usual. 177 00:17:57,524 --> 00:18:00,853 Look fool, I drink your beer. 178 00:18:14,203 --> 00:18:17,817 You're a Wise-ass, eh? Another beer. 179 00:18:22,792 --> 00:18:26,090 - What happened? - "Nice spread there ..." ! 180 00:18:26,171 --> 00:18:27,785 - Control your hands! - "And a good view, too." 181 00:18:27,785 --> 00:18:30,802 Watch where you put your hands! You hear me? 182 00:18:31,015 --> 00:18:32,247 I liked it! 183 00:18:34,345 --> 00:18:38,135 After beer, some chicken! 184 00:18:52,213 --> 00:18:56,138 Come on .... hit him ... 185 00:18:59,573 --> 00:19:03,089 Come ... 186 00:19:08,016 --> 00:19:12,551 - He went overboard. Why such anger? - Must be the chicken. 187 00:19:28,188 --> 00:19:31,904 - My hat. - He got it. 188 00:19:32,659 --> 00:19:36,070 No, this is not mine. 189 00:19:36,692 --> 00:19:40,105 Stop! Quiet! 190 00:19:42,374 --> 00:19:45,202 Terence! 191 00:19:47,696 --> 00:19:51,275 Terence! 192 00:19:55,681 --> 00:19:59,574 Help! 193 00:20:11,328 --> 00:20:15,269 Help me, Terence! 194 00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:23,018 Help! 195 00:20:24,052 --> 00:20:27,242 Let's not waste time, Angus. 196 00:20:29,143 --> 00:20:32,663 - A complete meal. - Salad, chicken, cheese ... 197 00:20:33,443 --> 00:20:37,622 - Fruit and wine. - It seems we have everything. 198 00:20:37,712 --> 00:20:39,137 Let's go. 199 00:21:12,980 --> 00:21:16,231 Well, well, well! 200 00:21:19,750 --> 00:21:22,475 Quickly. 201 00:21:27,803 --> 00:21:30,797 - I laid the table. - Did we miss something? 202 00:21:30,815 --> 00:21:32,266 Candles. Bravo! 203 00:21:34,486 --> 00:21:36,582 Dinner is served. 204 00:21:47,121 --> 00:21:51,302 Ladies and gentlemen! Enter! 205 00:21:56,991 --> 00:22:01,253 My uncle, Sir Archibald has prepared everything for our visitors. 206 00:22:01,260 --> 00:22:03,801 This is quite a feast, enough for a whole group. 207 00:22:03,860 --> 00:22:08,183 Such extravgance for guests, while I am left to starve. 208 00:22:08,199 --> 00:22:09,955 Pig! 209 00:22:10,023 --> 00:22:13,024 - Awesome. - It looks like a Christmas dinner. 210 00:22:13,071 --> 00:22:15,337 Please, Mr Fumagalli! 211 00:22:16,423 --> 00:22:19,616 In this castle, hospitality is sacred. 212 00:22:19,943 --> 00:22:23,772 When we set the table, we serve tradition. 213 00:22:24,286 --> 00:22:26,070 - Ms. Fumagalli! - Thanks. 214 00:22:26,092 --> 00:22:29,132 - This is your place - Thank you. 215 00:22:29,171 --> 00:22:32,266 - Are you glad, my dear? - Yes. 216 00:22:32,414 --> 00:22:35,509 Baroness...your ancestor, Baron of Blackcastle 217 00:22:35,598 --> 00:22:38,050 ... was a perfect gentleman. 218 00:22:38,926 --> 00:22:41,139 A degenerate. 219 00:22:41,639 --> 00:22:45,105 Look at what I've got to hear! A degenerate. Me? 220 00:22:45,717 --> 00:22:50,049 Repugnant excrement of my offspring, what rotten attitude, that snob! 221 00:22:50,508 --> 00:22:53,105 - Talk to the Baroness, Master? - What are you saying? 222 00:22:53,907 --> 00:22:57,627 Why not give her a good spanking ...? 223 00:22:58,679 --> 00:23:03,120 Shut up, you dummy! 224 00:23:03,646 --> 00:23:08,007 I can not, it's in my blood. Children were born with squinting eyes open ... 225 00:23:08,074 --> 00:23:14,314 like you. Give me the potion. You were not as talkative when you were with Frankenstein. 226 00:23:14,381 --> 00:23:18,743 Different master, different work ... especially a different salary ... 227 00:23:18,801 --> 00:23:21,110 How petty ... ! 228 00:23:21,144 --> 00:23:26,257 Baron, you owe me 225 years, 4 months and 2 days of back pay. 229 00:23:26,775 --> 00:23:30,101 Not to mention insurance, pension ... 230 00:23:30,166 --> 00:23:33,068 - Social security, VAT. - Stop! 231 00:23:33,591 --> 00:23:36,499 Stop busting my balls, poisonous snake! 232 00:23:36,603 --> 00:23:42,711 If your mother had had an abortion, you would not be on my back. 233 00:23:42,734 --> 00:23:45,427 Don't forget you are my servant ... 234 00:23:45,447 --> 00:23:49,198 Give me the potion. I suffer so much! 235 00:23:49,690 --> 00:23:51,298 Potion ... 236 00:23:51,338 --> 00:23:57,400 This aphrodisiac will end up hurting you, Sir Archibald. 237 00:23:57,936 --> 00:24:01,007 - Listen, young idiot! - I'm all ears! 238 00:24:01,038 --> 00:24:03,320 It's not that easy ... 239 00:24:03,757 --> 00:24:06,682 What can happen to me? Only one gripe ... 240 00:24:06,725 --> 00:24:09,805 A small drop ... 241 00:24:09,853 --> 00:24:13,861 Or perhaps inevitable triumph ... 242 00:24:13,865 --> 00:24:17,777 I want to die ... I want to feel happy ... 243 00:24:20,918 --> 00:24:23,347 - Angus! - Yes, Baron. 244 00:24:23,436 --> 00:24:29,196 Do not masturbate, if you don't want to end up like your sister. 245 00:24:33,232 --> 00:24:38,417 I don't want to be indiscreet, Baroness, but how did he die ...? 246 00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:40,697 - Lord of the castle? - Camillo! 247 00:24:40,735 --> 00:24:44,064 - Yes, my dear? - Some things are better left unsaid. 248 00:24:44,127 --> 00:24:48,631 He was a big time womanizer. One day, a famous prostitute arrived at the castle. 249 00:24:49,235 --> 00:24:53,364 They say it was a night of torrid passion and the seventh time ... 250 00:24:53,392 --> 00:24:56,421 - The seventh time? - It was fatal. 251 00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:59,654 - Dead? - Yes. Definitely. 252 00:24:59,659 --> 00:25:02,865 - Condolences, Baroness! - Thanks. 253 00:25:02,965 --> 00:25:06,200 Seven times! Not bad for an Englishman. 254 00:25:06,269 --> 00:25:09,541 - Just leave it, Camillo! Please! - Yes, my dear. 255 00:25:23,248 --> 00:25:26,387 So that's the legend, Mr. Fumagalli. 256 00:25:26,464 --> 00:25:30,297 Seven times! It can be only a legend, eh, darling? 257 00:25:30,789 --> 00:25:34,380 Legend ... ! Legend my ass. 258 00:25:43,919 --> 00:25:47,434 - What's wrong? - Nothing. Everything is fine. 259 00:25:47,725 --> 00:25:50,945 Yes, it's all good. 260 00:25:51,236 --> 00:25:54,597 - Don't you like it? - Yes, darling. 261 00:25:54,628 --> 00:25:57,845 I like it very much. But ... 262 00:25:57,855 --> 00:26:01,715 I don't think it's the right time, Camillo ... 263 00:26:02,146 --> 00:26:07,220 I don't understand how you can reach up here ... 264 00:26:07,936 --> 00:26:11,511 - With my hands. - Hands? 265 00:26:22,660 --> 00:26:26,689 Excuse me! Can't you stop, baby? 266 00:26:27,298 --> 00:26:31,377 - You cannot resist? - No, I love it. 267 00:26:36,154 --> 00:26:40,052 Honey ... there ... 268 00:26:40,152 --> 00:26:44,995 Honey ... Camillo ... ! 269 00:26:46,831 --> 00:26:50,825 Baroness! Camillo ... 270 00:26:52,515 --> 00:26:56,650 Baroness! Camillo .... 271 00:27:02,412 --> 00:27:06,895 Camillo ... Baroness ... 272 00:27:07,522 --> 00:27:11,068 Camillo ... 273 00:27:17,028 --> 00:27:20,335 Camillo ... 274 00:27:20,414 --> 00:27:23,522 - Baroness ... - Excellent! 275 00:27:28,541 --> 00:27:32,127 I had a crazy hunger ... 276 00:27:45,095 --> 00:27:48,483 "Super aphrodisiac." "Super hypnotic." 277 00:27:50,103 --> 00:27:53,009 Super hypnotic. 278 00:27:53,722 --> 00:27:56,498 Here, my lord. Enjoy! 279 00:28:22,852 --> 00:28:27,802 - An extraordinary dinner, Baroness! - We do what we can. 280 00:28:28,084 --> 00:28:31,053 When I tell my friends in Tradate ... ! 281 00:28:31,053 --> 00:28:33,454 What? Traitor? 282 00:28:33,454 --> 00:28:37,759 Tradate! A small region in northern Italy. 283 00:28:37,851 --> 00:28:40,971 They will never believe. Right, my dear? 284 00:28:41,016 --> 00:28:43,131 Yes, darling! 285 00:28:43,196 --> 00:28:47,241 The tourist attraction ... Madame Baroness ... 286 00:28:47,615 --> 00:28:51,349 ... are ghosts, eh? 287 00:28:51,869 --> 00:28:55,528 - Sure. - Sure? 288 00:28:56,969 --> 00:29:00,586 - So there ARE ghosts. - Just a part of advertising hype. 289 00:29:00,638 --> 00:29:03,749 We are in England, there are no ghosts. 290 00:29:03,785 --> 00:29:07,344 There are only gentlemen here, right, dear? You know that. 291 00:29:07,403 --> 00:29:10,567 - Yes, my dear. - Not true, Mrs. Fumagalli. 292 00:29:10,637 --> 00:29:14,230 There are always ghosts as well as gentlemen. 293 00:29:15,117 --> 00:29:18,711 - Do you understand? - Yes. 294 00:29:23,839 --> 00:29:28,347 Vulgar pig! As usual! 295 00:29:35,576 --> 00:29:39,525 And now some hot coffee. 296 00:29:39,853 --> 00:29:41,727 Please, madame! 297 00:29:47,156 --> 00:29:50,774 - Please. - You are a good woman ... ! 298 00:29:51,373 --> 00:29:54,390 You're gentle and charming, sir! 299 00:29:54,487 --> 00:29:57,648 Unfortunately, some people do not appreciate quality. 300 00:29:57,688 --> 00:30:00,924 - Josephine! - Pardon, Madame! 301 00:30:05,209 --> 00:30:09,821 - You won't drink coffee? - It does not let me sleep. 302 00:30:10,287 --> 00:30:12,971 We don't need to sleep, eh, darling? 303 00:30:13,038 --> 00:30:16,187 She does not, but you do. 304 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,640 You also do not drink coffee? 305 00:30:20,673 --> 00:30:24,823 It has been four centuries since the Trenton family gave up coffee. 306 00:30:27,734 --> 00:30:31,238 - It's England. - Of course, England! 307 00:30:35,165 --> 00:30:38,961 Right. 308 00:30:41,859 --> 00:30:48,368 My wife and I want to retire now. Fatigue, the journey ... 309 00:30:48,973 --> 00:30:52,729 The first night of marriage ... Isn't it so, my dear? 310 00:30:55,566 --> 00:30:59,015 - Yes ... - With your permission. 311 00:31:00,075 --> 00:31:02,841 After you, Baroness. 312 00:31:04,849 --> 00:31:08,788 Back in the picture! 313 00:31:10,804 --> 00:31:14,333 It was a dinner worthy of English hospitality. 314 00:31:14,833 --> 00:31:16,900 A princely dinner. 315 00:31:17,474 --> 00:31:21,762 Looks like a nice man. What a grand suit. 316 00:31:21,837 --> 00:31:25,402 - Good night, Mr. Fumagalli! - Good night. 317 00:31:32,756 --> 00:31:36,893 You know what I say? In my opinion you have a stupid face! 318 00:31:38,553 --> 00:31:41,922 Seven times? I don't think so. 319 00:31:59,956 --> 00:32:03,575 Camillo! You're now talking with armour? Come! 320 00:32:03,727 --> 00:32:05,540 Yes, dear. coming. 321 00:32:09,970 --> 00:32:13,782 Tonight you behaved badly. Like a pig. 322 00:32:14,312 --> 00:32:18,126 The hunger had been building for 2,000 km. 323 00:32:18,653 --> 00:32:21,776 A half hour more or less ... 324 00:32:23,010 --> 00:32:27,154 - I'm going to cool down a little. - Go on, you really need it. 325 00:32:46,551 --> 00:32:51,485 Water so clear, sweet and cold ... 326 00:32:52,181 --> 00:32:57,836 made your flesh glow brighter than gold... 327 00:32:59,151 --> 00:33:02,369 Good lyrics! 328 00:33:03,467 --> 00:33:04,740 What a fine specimen ... 329 00:33:11,550 --> 00:33:15,238 Camillo! 330 00:33:18,584 --> 00:33:21,961 Just a moment, sweetheart. 331 00:33:30,026 --> 00:33:36,323 Honestly, I can smell the fragrance of her sex ... 332 00:33:36,882 --> 00:33:40,139 and it drives me mad with lust... 333 00:33:40,582 --> 00:33:42,339 I must have her. 334 00:33:43,019 --> 00:33:46,127 She fills my nose... 335 00:33:46,127 --> 00:33:49,060 You could write a book about her, and it wouldn't be enough. 336 00:33:49,060 --> 00:33:52,058 Oh, what a great bottom ... ! 337 00:33:53,281 --> 00:33:56,564 Are you horny? I'll do you good. 338 00:34:01,666 --> 00:34:05,507 - Camillo! - One second, dear. 339 00:34:09,337 --> 00:34:12,963 Coming. 340 00:34:23,796 --> 00:34:27,531 Are you ready, dear? 341 00:34:28,213 --> 00:34:31,433 - You have my pajamas? - Right, baby. 342 00:34:31,957 --> 00:34:36,092 Here. 343 00:34:49,244 --> 00:34:52,289 - Camillo! - Be right there. 344 00:35:00,126 --> 00:35:03,157 Fine, these modern things! Revolutionary! 345 00:35:07,283 --> 00:35:08,741 Coming, darling. 346 00:35:25,631 --> 00:35:29,011 - Nice piece of ass! - I want to eat that peach ... 347 00:35:32,097 --> 00:35:36,184 - Camillo! - Yeah, baby. 348 00:35:41,068 --> 00:35:44,587 Sleep, sleep, you fool! Meanwhile, I ... 349 00:35:45,651 --> 00:35:49,125 Camillo! 350 00:35:50,235 --> 00:35:54,695 What are you doing? Asleep? Where's all that desire of yours? 351 00:35:54,779 --> 00:35:55,821 Wake up. 352 00:36:19,567 --> 00:36:20,779 Wait. 353 00:36:28,630 --> 00:36:32,818 I sleep in my royal bed again. Get ready for some hot loving, my beauty! 354 00:36:33,936 --> 00:36:37,726 - Camillo! Are you awake? - Let's remove the underwear now... 355 00:36:39,136 --> 00:36:44,437 - Yeah, baby ... ! - Like that, perfect ... 356 00:36:46,630 --> 00:36:51,329 - Ohhh, yeah, baby ... - The pussy hound is loose ... 357 00:36:51,900 --> 00:36:55,856 Oh, darling! That feels so good. 358 00:37:01,525 --> 00:37:05,895 - Is that a beard? Ohhh ... - You tasty treat ... 359 00:37:07,233 --> 00:37:11,173 Kiss me with these hidden lips, sweetie... Nothing is better than making love. 360 00:37:17,070 --> 00:37:20,782 My Mediterranean lovely ... ! 361 00:37:22,953 --> 00:37:27,683 - Honey! - Take it all ... 362 00:37:52,246 --> 00:37:55,768 Didn't see that, my fault ... ! 363 00:38:12,370 --> 00:38:16,904 Honey ... Honey! 364 00:38:19,413 --> 00:38:24,113 Well, when you've done it so passionately ... 365 00:38:27,391 --> 00:38:31,154 How good in bed you are, darling ... ! 366 00:38:31,637 --> 00:38:34,958 He's not there. Where is he? 367 00:38:37,614 --> 00:38:41,461 You do it with all other women except me? 368 00:38:41,498 --> 00:38:45,991 You may not like me, but know this. I do that 'thing'... 369 00:38:46,433 --> 00:38:50,204 ... better than others. I guarantee. Believe me. 370 00:38:50,704 --> 00:38:54,946 I am a complete woman. I studied classical dance. 371 00:40:13,370 --> 00:40:14,898 Camillo! 372 00:40:18,275 --> 00:40:21,944 The castle was shaking. 373 00:40:38,841 --> 00:40:45,313 Pigeons flew in heaven, and their droppings filled the fool's head! 374 00:41:12,341 --> 00:41:16,025 Come on, get up! 375 00:41:20,225 --> 00:41:24,973 This time ... What are you doing, kissing me? 376 00:41:25,711 --> 00:41:28,816 Are you crazy? Go ... 377 00:41:30,479 --> 00:41:33,811 - I can help ... - You ... 378 00:41:33,972 --> 00:41:37,359 Why are you interested? He's no trouble. Vanish, moron! 379 00:41:38,947 --> 00:41:41,455 I told you to leave. Go! 380 00:41:44,401 --> 00:41:48,072 Now back to work! 381 00:41:48,584 --> 00:41:53,733 Yes, Camillo... Do it again. 382 00:41:56,379 --> 00:42:01,405 Yeah, baby ... Ohhh, Camillo ... 383 00:42:02,668 --> 00:42:07,183 Honey ... my love 384 00:42:35,016 --> 00:42:39,770 Uncle, you are an old pig ... 385 00:42:39,824 --> 00:42:42,060 ... But our visitor is insatiable, too. 386 00:42:47,195 --> 00:42:50,713 Yeah, baby ... 387 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:10,290 What a randy Roman goddess! You are so tight, so warm ... 388 00:43:12,598 --> 00:43:16,586 Yes, take it deep...like that... What's happening? 389 00:43:17,957 --> 00:43:21,216 Who's there? Eh, you? 390 00:43:23,294 --> 00:43:26,850 Shake. Archibald Lawrence, Lord of Blackcastle. 391 00:43:27,713 --> 00:43:31,160 - One of the famous barons. - Fumagalli, accounting, Camillo! 392 00:43:33,041 --> 00:43:36,150 That name sucks! 393 00:43:37,598 --> 00:43:42,094 How skilfully you perform, darling! I didn't know that you were so passionate. 394 00:43:42,108 --> 00:43:45,567 But next time, shave first. 395 00:44:00,811 --> 00:44:02,442 Son of a bitch! 396 00:44:07,327 --> 00:44:09,531 God! 397 00:45:22,832 --> 00:45:25,871 - What a blow! - Are you awake, honey? 398 00:45:26,328 --> 00:45:30,345 - How do you feel? - My head is spinning! 399 00:45:30,473 --> 00:45:33,984 - It's my fault. - No, I can't blame you. 400 00:45:34,176 --> 00:45:39,308 Let's say it's OUR fault, dear! Last night you were so passionate ... 401 00:45:40,205 --> 00:45:43,392 - Really, baby? - Yes, darling, you were wonderful. 402 00:45:43,956 --> 00:45:46,544 - I was great? - Good morning. Breakfast. 403 00:45:46,731 --> 00:45:50,275 I'm going to take a shower, baby. 404 00:45:50,498 --> 00:45:52,003 Breakfast. 405 00:45:53,787 --> 00:45:57,999 - It went well last night? - Yes ... 406 00:45:58,562 --> 00:46:00,920 Drink some coffee, honey. It'll help you. 407 00:46:02,795 --> 00:46:04,918 Yes. I will drink coffee. 408 00:46:07,370 --> 00:46:11,299 Is it true that I was fantastic, Adelaide? 409 00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:20,177 Last night maybe I drank too much, I had nightmares. 410 00:46:21,299 --> 00:46:24,978 - It was ecstasy, Camillo ... - Nightmares, Adelaide. 411 00:46:25,596 --> 00:46:31,250 What I recall is that ... I saw the Baron's ghost before me. 412 00:46:31,603 --> 00:46:35,710 Trust me...he shook hands and told me his name. 413 00:46:36,399 --> 00:46:41,157 He's been dead for over 300 years, you fool, you dreamt it all. 414 00:46:42,499 --> 00:46:47,387 You know what i think? I suspect that last night I did nothing. 415 00:46:48,023 --> 00:46:52,856 - Nothing at all. - You were so manly, baby ... 416 00:46:53,131 --> 00:46:58,346 You were insatiable. Now you might want to take it from the beginning, eh, my dear? 417 00:47:10,898 --> 00:47:12,943 How beautiful you are, Adelaide! 418 00:47:22,820 --> 00:47:27,163 Camillio, baby ... my love 419 00:47:29,610 --> 00:47:36,208 Crazy! No one likes domestic product. He thinks of others, never me. 420 00:47:45,927 --> 00:47:47,946 What a curse! 421 00:47:51,874 --> 00:47:55,926 - So, Mr. Fancypants. - Good morning, Mr. Fumagalli! 422 00:47:56,407 --> 00:47:59,481 Good morning ... 423 00:48:00,436 --> 00:48:06,021 Dear Baroness! A crazy night ... An awful headache ... 424 00:48:06,108 --> 00:48:10,543 - I want to take this opportunity to ... - Did you have breakfast? 425 00:48:10,601 --> 00:48:13,780 No. I will leave immediately. 426 00:48:14,453 --> 00:48:19,333 I'm going to start my car. Italian cars have to be warmed up first. 427 00:48:44,491 --> 00:48:49,184 - Baron of the Castle! Up yours! - Yes? Take this. 428 00:49:01,141 --> 00:49:02,927 Wait ... 429 00:49:10,072 --> 00:49:12,819 I'll show you! We have a spare tyre. 430 00:49:14,826 --> 00:49:16,556 I take a hand jack. 431 00:49:21,586 --> 00:49:25,628 There ... ! What's happening? 432 00:49:26,340 --> 00:49:27,788 All four flat? 433 00:49:32,885 --> 00:49:34,225 So, you want war? 434 00:49:37,657 --> 00:49:42,998 I will end your evil. You can not stop me, Baron. 435 00:49:44,414 --> 00:49:45,457 Do you see? 436 00:49:48,442 --> 00:49:53,957 - Is there an auto workshop near here? - Having trouble with your car? 437 00:49:54,560 --> 00:50:02,793 No, "someone" had fun puncturing all my tyres. 438 00:50:03,778 --> 00:50:07,357 Mr Terence at the inn, he can help. 439 00:50:07,528 --> 00:50:09,935 He can? Give me his phone number. 440 00:50:09,992 --> 00:50:13,363 - Yes. 36 067. - Thanks. 441 00:50:20,782 --> 00:50:27,499 Hello ... I am Mister Fumagalli, accountant. 442 00:50:27,671 --> 00:50:33,132 I want Mr Terence's number. 36 067. 443 00:50:34,316 --> 00:50:37,502 Thanks! Thank you! Dammit ... 444 00:50:40,133 --> 00:50:42,522 Come on ... 445 00:50:47,675 --> 00:50:51,708 Hello? 446 00:50:57,155 --> 00:51:00,802 Hello. 447 00:51:01,723 --> 00:51:05,257 Hello? 448 00:51:07,484 --> 00:51:12,347 - Who was that? - Don't know. You ask. 449 00:51:13,309 --> 00:51:17,141 You can't do anything right. Be careful, woman. 450 00:51:17,692 --> 00:51:23,314 - One of these days I'll throttle ... - You going to bring the tractor from Gregg? 451 00:51:24,418 --> 00:51:27,886 Yes. I'm going. 452 00:51:28,192 --> 00:51:30,041 How little patience ... 453 00:51:33,366 --> 00:51:37,452 See, Baroness? All four tyres punctured. 454 00:51:37,654 --> 00:51:41,851 - Is that motorcycle functional? - Yes. Even if it is not used much. 455 00:51:41,932 --> 00:51:44,394 - I'll handle it. - Mr. Fumagalli! 456 00:51:44,432 --> 00:51:46,262 - Yes? - In England, the helmet is mandatory. 457 00:51:47,350 --> 00:51:49,871 Okay. Thank you. I'll put it on. 458 00:52:01,518 --> 00:52:05,194 Where did you find that helmet? 459 00:52:05,829 --> 00:52:11,048 - Can I go with him to the village? - Shut up! Your place is here with me. 460 00:52:12,389 --> 00:52:15,554 Who says he will reach the village? 461 00:52:15,638 --> 00:52:20,329 Look, idiot servant, and try to learn. 462 00:52:25,682 --> 00:52:29,307 That rusty bike can transform into a rocket ... 463 00:52:29,379 --> 00:52:34,484 an aircraft, a UFO ... with a simple ... 464 00:54:03,637 --> 00:54:05,145 Silence! 465 00:54:22,868 --> 00:54:27,186 Help! 466 00:54:29,493 --> 00:54:33,371 There ... 467 00:54:35,140 --> 00:54:38,638 My pants ... 468 00:55:00,718 --> 00:55:03,614 Help ... 469 00:55:13,573 --> 00:55:17,496 Oh, Good heavens! I didn't think your wife was so passionate. 470 00:55:18,024 --> 00:55:21,733 My wife said I was wild in bed. I did not do anything. 471 00:55:22,215 --> 00:55:25,947 I ran. All tyres drilled. Telephoned Mr Terence. 472 00:55:26,108 --> 00:55:29,395 He will repair all the tyres. Good mother, good father ... 473 00:55:29,395 --> 00:55:33,685 Hi Mom, hi Dad! I'm going mad. 474 00:55:33,707 --> 00:55:37,106 A goat did eat ...my... 475 00:55:37,913 --> 00:55:41,507 - I do not feel well. - Poor baby! 476 00:55:41,570 --> 00:55:45,582 - Where are we going? - Let's go to my room. 477 00:55:45,620 --> 00:55:50,747 All tyres pierced, my wife says I did it ...but I did not do anything ... 478 00:55:51,235 --> 00:55:52,523 All tyres are drilled ... 479 00:55:55,582 --> 00:55:58,999 Come in, come in. 480 00:56:00,478 --> 00:56:04,066 - You okay? - Fine, fine ... ! 481 00:56:05,075 --> 00:56:08,589 - Go into the bathroom. - Fine, fine ... 482 00:56:10,133 --> 00:56:14,788 Meanwhile, I'll bring you my husband's clothes. They are a little big, but it won't matter. 483 00:56:28,146 --> 00:56:31,876 You go and do your bit, bug ... 484 00:56:41,437 --> 00:56:44,843 Marian! 485 00:57:05,596 --> 00:57:09,468 Terence ... 486 00:57:10,032 --> 00:57:13,219 - Sir Terence! - Let me explain. 487 00:57:13,458 --> 00:57:14,952 Let her explain. 488 00:57:24,126 --> 00:57:28,809 - Allow us to explain! - Terence ... 489 00:57:28,938 --> 00:57:31,593 Sometimes, looks can be deceiving. 490 00:58:38,780 --> 00:58:40,756 Mr Terence ... 491 00:58:42,908 --> 00:58:44,379 No ... Mr Terence... 492 00:58:51,827 --> 00:58:54,602 English vocation ... 493 00:59:05,233 --> 00:59:10,468 What are you doing, Terence? It's not what you think, he's a customer. 494 00:59:10,927 --> 00:59:15,589 Let me ... I came to ask for your services ... 495 00:59:16,395 --> 00:59:17,812 I'll pay for it ... 496 00:59:23,581 --> 00:59:28,212 You look good with the beard. Why do you want to shave it? 497 00:59:32,883 --> 00:59:36,444 Castrate him if you want to, but I'm not involved with him. 498 00:59:36,988 --> 00:59:42,212 How can you castrate me? I just got married. 499 00:59:43,526 --> 00:59:49,029 I have not even eaten ... Why don't you believe me... 500 00:59:54,607 --> 00:59:58,107 Help! 501 01:00:11,117 --> 01:00:15,198 My ideal man, is a big man, handsome, strong. 502 01:00:15,774 --> 01:00:19,477 Noble and gentle ... bearded. 503 01:00:21,628 --> 01:00:25,454 When you take him in your arms, it makes me feel bad. 504 01:00:25,454 --> 01:00:29,068 - Josephine! Please! - Excuse me, Baroness! 505 01:00:29,353 --> 01:00:33,046 Weird. It seems that she speaks of the baron in the picture. 506 01:00:33,141 --> 01:00:38,106 - Do you not find him fascinating? - Yes. But I prefer my husband. 507 01:00:38,164 --> 01:00:41,211 Instead of a brain, he has an electronic computer. 508 01:00:42,253 --> 01:00:45,205 Since he joined the company, sales have tripled. 509 01:00:45,688 --> 01:00:48,173 He's a nice man, distinguished ... 510 01:00:50,282 --> 01:00:53,802 - Camillo! - Leave me alone, do not say anything. 511 01:00:54,309 --> 01:00:57,568 Nobody here listens to me, nobody understands. 512 01:00:57,589 --> 01:01:00,098 They wanted to castrate me. 513 01:01:01,016 --> 01:01:02,838 Where have you been? Where are your clothes? 514 01:01:03,962 --> 01:01:09,862 At the innkeeper's house. I was naked and his wife in panties. 515 01:01:10,365 --> 01:01:13,307 She undressed, and you in panties ... 516 01:01:13,798 --> 01:01:18,400 Well, the goat ... Stop asking questions. 517 01:01:18,916 --> 01:01:21,812 And I know whose fault it is. 518 01:01:22,007 --> 01:01:26,019 - I need to take a bath. - Oh, I know what you need. 519 01:01:27,355 --> 01:01:31,292 If this continues, we will have a scandal. 520 01:01:32,243 --> 01:01:36,514 If I find you, I'll cook him alive. I swear! 521 01:01:43,929 --> 01:01:46,330 You must believe me, Adelaide. 522 01:01:47,347 --> 01:01:50,389 Stop. You know I hate tall tales. 523 01:01:50,463 --> 01:01:55,224 - Now you'll tell me about ghosts? - Try to focus. 524 01:01:55,244 --> 01:01:57,846 Remember what happened to me last night ... 525 01:01:57,869 --> 01:02:00,789 This morning I told you. 526 01:02:00,871 --> 01:02:04,192 - It wasn't me, I tell you! - Then who? A ghost? 527 01:02:04,778 --> 01:02:09,651 Think! There's something's very fishy. 528 01:02:10,062 --> 01:02:12,513 I'm being manipulated! 529 01:02:13,540 --> 01:02:17,156 - Okay. Let's not talk about it. - Okay. Fine. 530 01:02:21,718 --> 01:02:24,784 Better to talk ... 531 01:02:47,377 --> 01:02:51,381 - Camillo! You okay? - Pussy! 532 01:02:51,452 --> 01:02:55,358 - Camillo! - Pussy! 533 01:02:55,589 --> 01:02:59,156 We'll consummate at last ... 534 01:03:01,263 --> 01:03:05,531 - I waited five years for it. - You're insatiable. 535 01:03:06,132 --> 01:03:10,234 Don't stop me. There are 2,000 km of waiting pent up inside me. 536 01:03:10,316 --> 01:03:13,269 - You are a maniac. - Yes, a ravenous maniac! 537 01:03:13,367 --> 01:03:17,744 How beautiful you are naked ... ! Now or never ... 538 01:03:19,948 --> 01:03:21,858 I want you... 539 01:03:25,367 --> 01:03:30,251 What behavior ... What weak will power ...what lack of nerve! 540 01:03:31,713 --> 01:03:36,724 Yeah, baby ... 541 01:03:37,995 --> 01:03:41,112 Again ... 542 01:04:01,742 --> 01:04:05,010 Why do you laugh? 543 01:04:05,123 --> 01:04:09,865 - Yes. Tickle me. - Do I make you laugh? 544 01:04:10,026 --> 01:04:13,368 Ah, but there is more fun ahead ... 545 01:04:13,942 --> 01:04:17,300 I make you laugh? I'll show you. 546 01:04:19,052 --> 01:04:22,721 Laugh, laugh ... 547 01:04:29,103 --> 01:04:32,520 Camillo! What are you doing? Are you crazy? 548 01:04:32,620 --> 01:04:35,684 It was not me. 549 01:04:36,342 --> 01:04:40,808 - You are a pig! - I have done nothing. 550 01:04:40,878 --> 01:04:43,912 It was not me, Adelaide. 551 01:04:44,248 --> 01:04:47,332 Then who else?! Swine! 552 01:04:48,530 --> 01:04:51,478 - I married a filthy pig! - I don't know what is happening. 553 01:04:52,669 --> 01:04:56,116 Get away! Let me go! 554 01:04:57,284 --> 01:05:00,371 - Get away! - Won't you believe me? 555 01:05:02,840 --> 01:05:07,995 - Out! Get away! - Don't do this, Adelaide. 556 01:05:08,062 --> 01:05:10,189 I told you to leave. You're so juvenile. 557 01:05:11,537 --> 01:05:15,807 Adelaide! Open the door! Or I'll smash it down. 558 01:05:15,900 --> 01:05:17,472 Hush, little fool! 559 01:05:19,484 --> 01:05:22,041 Everything's okay, Mr. Fumagalli? 560 01:05:25,194 --> 01:05:26,681 Baroness! 561 01:05:29,492 --> 01:05:35,769 Excuse me! Pardon this strange scene. 562 01:05:36,044 --> 01:05:39,180 I had a little tiff with my wife. 563 01:05:39,234 --> 01:05:41,882 A small quarrel between lovers. 564 01:05:41,980 --> 01:05:45,178 This little incident will not ruin our honeymoon. 565 01:05:46,042 --> 01:05:49,221 I understand, Mr. Fumagalli. Step into my room. 566 01:05:49,238 --> 01:05:51,566 I'll bring your clothes back. 567 01:05:51,665 --> 01:05:53,755 Thank you, Baroness! You're very kind. 568 01:06:04,026 --> 01:06:07,669 - Now you can get dressed. - Thank you. You're very helpful. 569 01:06:07,721 --> 01:06:10,555 I'm sorry to put you in such a situation. 570 01:06:10,612 --> 01:06:14,654 Adelaide and I love each other deeply. 571 01:06:14,689 --> 01:06:18,211 We were engaged for five years. 572 01:06:18,310 --> 01:06:22,356 Unfortunately, until now I have not con...co 573 01:06:23,530 --> 01:06:28,556 - How beautiful, baroness! - Mr. Fumagalli! 574 01:06:38,275 --> 01:06:42,703 Good morning, darling! I do not feel well. 575 01:06:50,213 --> 01:06:53,960 - I wanted to apologize, Adelaide. - Please, Camillo! 576 01:06:54,181 --> 01:06:56,165 Okay, my dear. 577 01:07:15,481 --> 01:07:19,857 - Camillo, you don't even know how to eat. - It was not me, my dear! 578 01:07:19,998 --> 01:07:23,692 - You insinuate that it was I? - No, I didn't mean that! 579 01:07:41,821 --> 01:07:46,088 You're a pig. Tomorrow I call mama and tell her. 580 01:07:46,091 --> 01:07:49,157 - No. - Yes. Sit down! 581 01:07:49,221 --> 01:07:52,452 - Yes. - Camillo! 582 01:07:54,048 --> 01:07:55,425 Are you a klutz? 583 01:07:57,640 --> 01:08:02,275 Listen, dear, I feel there are hostile forces at work here. 584 01:08:02,896 --> 01:08:06,659 I have had enough, and don't want any more of this crap. 585 01:08:06,862 --> 01:08:08,515 I'm going, don't come near me! 586 01:08:09,697 --> 01:08:16,782 Please Adelaide. Usually, these small crises are solved on the matrimonial bed. 587 01:08:16,858 --> 01:08:18,892 - No bed, no! - Yes, in bed. 588 01:08:19,892 --> 01:08:22,592 - I married a maniac ... - Yes, a maniac ... 589 01:08:22,941 --> 01:08:25,203 Mace ... There ... 590 01:08:31,593 --> 01:08:33,161 Here we go! Camillo! 591 01:08:36,196 --> 01:08:40,222 I married a hopeless case. Stop playing. Get up! 592 01:08:41,238 --> 01:08:44,748 Camillo! 593 01:08:46,453 --> 01:08:50,024 I'm sick of waiting. 594 01:08:50,024 --> 01:08:53,374 I must take a serious decision. 595 01:08:53,723 --> 01:09:00,359 Nothing has come of waiting patiently...I will use blackmail. 596 01:09:00,965 --> 01:09:04,283 Where did I put that book? It must be here. 597 01:09:04,572 --> 01:09:08,134 How to exorcise ghosts! 598 01:09:08,447 --> 01:09:14,837 If by midnight he doesn't take me, I'll make him disappear forever. 599 01:09:20,661 --> 01:09:25,402 My Camillio ... ! You're a mess, honey. 600 01:09:25,976 --> 01:09:30,073 I got a terrible blow. Here. 601 01:09:30,244 --> 01:09:33,690 Who hit you, baby? 602 01:09:34,071 --> 01:09:37,137 Do not start again with the ghosts story. 603 01:09:38,315 --> 01:09:40,618 Come in! 604 01:09:42,624 --> 01:09:44,695 - I have a headache ... - It's Mr Terence. 605 01:09:44,759 --> 01:09:46,981 No, not Terence! 606 01:09:47,215 --> 01:09:50,535 He came to apologize and to say that the car is fixed. Want to talk to him? 607 01:09:50,604 --> 01:09:54,049 No. The less I see him, the better. 608 01:09:54,213 --> 01:09:58,125 - Okay. I'll go and talk to him. - Bravo, Baroness! 609 01:09:58,224 --> 01:10:01,883 I take this opportunity to thank you on behalf of my wife. 610 01:10:01,909 --> 01:10:05,696 Rest, dear. Be a good boy now ... 611 01:10:07,210 --> 01:10:11,384 It seems that you go away forever, tomorrow...girly. 612 01:10:11,984 --> 01:10:15,413 Girly? How dare you talk to me like that, despicable bastard? 613 01:10:15,956 --> 01:10:19,603 I'll box your ears and spread them wide apart. 614 01:10:23,291 --> 01:10:28,300 Instead of making fun of me, help me solve the problem. 615 01:10:28,300 --> 01:10:29,509 How? 616 01:10:30,009 --> 01:10:35,096 Angus, you know the cook Josephine is in love with me. 617 01:10:35,561 --> 01:10:39,169 She wants to get me ... 618 01:10:41,047 --> 01:10:44,908 Do not laugh, Angus. I'm really worried. 619 01:10:45,727 --> 01:10:47,349 Angus ... 620 01:10:50,589 --> 01:10:53,720 Baron! Why do you shoot me all the time? 621 01:10:54,015 --> 01:10:57,007 - Because I'm cynical and perverse. - A real naughty boy ... 622 01:10:57,054 --> 01:11:01,476 - Your shooting tickles me... - Shut up, you idiot. 623 01:11:05,109 --> 01:11:07,695 You want to be funny? 624 01:11:08,532 --> 01:11:11,463 I'll tell you what will be funny ... 625 01:11:13,628 --> 01:11:17,580 Want a good laugh? Because she can't see me ... 626 01:11:20,428 --> 01:11:23,296 What you have to do ... 627 01:11:23,297 --> 01:11:26,361 is take my place with her... instead of me, it will be you... 628 01:11:26,452 --> 01:11:29,718 mounting her like a stallion ... ! 629 01:11:31,215 --> 01:11:34,698 - Isn't that funny, Angus? - No, it's not .... 630 01:11:36,854 --> 01:11:40,776 That fat cook ... no .... 631 01:11:42,705 --> 01:11:46,523 - Do you feel better, honey? - Yes, I went dizzy. 632 01:11:46,918 --> 01:11:50,130 - My poor baby! - I feel an intense heat ... 633 01:11:50,193 --> 01:11:54,343 - I feel invigorated by you ... - Calm down, baby. 634 01:11:55,184 --> 01:12:00,100 We have to do it ... for our love... for our marriage ... 635 01:12:00,645 --> 01:12:04,227 - For our children. - What children? 636 01:12:04,305 --> 01:12:08,941 The ones we will have if we do it. I'll be back immediately. 637 01:12:09,358 --> 01:12:13,039 Alright, baby ... come back soon. Be careful! 638 01:12:13,214 --> 01:12:15,264 It's ok. I slipped. 639 01:12:16,384 --> 01:12:17,733 My back ... 640 01:12:53,504 --> 01:12:55,600 Darling! Be right back. 641 01:13:01,892 --> 01:13:05,611 Baby, baby, baby ... 642 01:13:06,830 --> 01:13:10,529 Baby, baby ... 643 01:13:11,044 --> 01:13:13,371 Yes. Coming. 644 01:13:20,601 --> 01:13:22,757 I'm ready. Look at me, my dear! 645 01:13:25,785 --> 01:13:27,688 What's happening? 646 01:13:28,931 --> 01:13:30,894 Adelaide! 647 01:13:42,233 --> 01:13:45,563 Another fool who fell. 648 01:13:46,134 --> 01:13:49,024 I'm afraid, Mom... what a nasty creature .. ! 649 01:13:50,008 --> 01:13:54,705 What are you doing Camillio? You said that you are ready ... 650 01:13:54,886 --> 01:13:58,428 Look at me, sweet cheeks... ! 651 01:13:58,970 --> 01:14:02,235 It will be the most beautiful night of your life. 652 01:14:02,237 --> 01:14:06,623 I will give you the ultimate orgasms. Oh, yes, my lovely ... ! 653 01:14:08,000 --> 01:14:11,741 Camillo ... 654 01:14:12,454 --> 01:14:16,696 - Oh, Camillo! - Here I come to ravish your little jungle! 655 01:14:17,078 --> 01:14:21,089 Tell me I'm your gorilla ... ! 656 01:14:22,861 --> 01:14:26,603 - Give me your sweet honey... - Oh, Camillio ... 657 01:14:36,822 --> 01:14:40,677 Forget that jerk Camillio ... 658 01:14:40,702 --> 01:14:45,068 Feel how I eat you up ... 659 01:14:50,008 --> 01:14:54,514 Hey, you are not Camillio! Camillio has no beard. 660 01:14:56,528 --> 01:15:00,013 Help! 661 01:15:01,605 --> 01:15:05,478 Baroness! 662 01:15:05,799 --> 01:15:09,457 Help! There's a ghost in my bed. 663 01:15:14,298 --> 01:15:18,048 There are only five minutes. 664 01:15:19,040 --> 01:15:23,551 Needless to hide it. Sir Archibald's ghost haunts the castle. 665 01:15:23,627 --> 01:15:26,216 The castle? Maybe you mean to say 'the beds'? 666 01:15:26,221 --> 01:15:29,995 Be careful. He's a horny sex maniac. 667 01:15:30,425 --> 01:15:35,796 Maybe a murderer too. Who knows what he did to my poor husband! 668 01:15:35,820 --> 01:15:40,063 There's no need to be alarmed, madam! The Baron did not kill anyone. 669 01:15:40,386 --> 01:15:43,980 Stay here. I'll take a look in your room. 670 01:15:43,995 --> 01:15:48,116 There are many secret chambers and passages in this castle. 671 01:15:56,865 --> 01:15:58,153 Revelation. 672 01:15:59,684 --> 01:16:01,323 The hole ... 673 01:16:06,193 --> 01:16:07,302 The door ... 674 01:16:09,931 --> 01:16:14,692 Adelaide! 675 01:16:17,546 --> 01:16:21,459 I want a lawyer ... and an exorcist. 676 01:16:22,565 --> 01:16:24,477 Now what? 677 01:16:31,116 --> 01:16:35,065 - How to climb up? - Get the ladder! 678 01:16:35,068 --> 01:16:38,264 - Yes, where is it? - There. 679 01:16:38,322 --> 01:16:41,037 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 680 01:16:58,116 --> 01:17:01,805 - Mr. Fumagalli! - Baroness ... 681 01:17:02,836 --> 01:17:04,534 Mr. Fumagalli ... ! 682 01:17:32,934 --> 01:17:36,801 Finally, Baron. I waited a long time. 683 01:17:36,892 --> 01:17:40,254 We do it here or go to my room? Doesn't matter ... 684 01:17:40,547 --> 01:17:43,929 Yes. We do it here ... 685 01:17:59,798 --> 01:18:04,406 How warm ... undress me ... 686 01:18:27,625 --> 01:18:29,334 There ... 687 01:18:34,719 --> 01:18:35,999 Gotcha! 688 01:18:39,941 --> 01:18:43,328 Greetings, my beautiful lady! - You ... 689 01:18:43,780 --> 01:18:49,152 Yes. The painting doesn't do me justice. 690 01:18:49,773 --> 01:18:54,932 - I have materialized for you. - Where's my husband, what did you do with him? 691 01:18:58,428 --> 01:19:02,319 Stay calm. Do not worry. 692 01:19:03,188 --> 01:19:07,650 Your husband is feeling better and soon will be back in your arms. 693 01:19:09,704 --> 01:19:14,466 You tricked me. You have behaved very badly. 694 01:19:15,211 --> 01:19:19,439 - I've betrayed my husband. - Maybe your body, but not the soul ... 695 01:19:19,956 --> 01:19:24,532 You think you gave yourself to him, and I truly burn for you .. 696 01:19:25,688 --> 01:19:29,048 There. there ... 697 01:19:30,439 --> 01:19:34,749 You must excuse me, but we ghosts have our moments of weakness. 698 01:19:36,310 --> 01:19:41,414 - Do not cry, sir! - Sir Laurence Archibald of Blackcastle. 699 01:19:41,774 --> 01:19:44,777 Baron of true blood... 700 01:19:45,387 --> 01:19:48,547 I wanted to have you to myself, honestly. 701 01:19:51,177 --> 01:19:54,651 Weep not, Sir Archibald. Please! 702 01:19:54,816 --> 01:19:56,244 My friends call me Archie! 703 01:20:00,085 --> 01:20:04,199 Please, Archie! Do not cry. It makes me feel bad. 704 01:20:04,635 --> 01:20:06,210 Will you give me a kiss? Here. 705 01:20:08,532 --> 01:20:11,947 Please, Sir Archibald! Stop crying, please! 706 01:20:12,593 --> 01:20:17,629 - You make me feel guilty. - You don't know how much I desire you ... 707 01:20:21,563 --> 01:20:23,544 Maybe it's better that I go ... 708 01:20:28,224 --> 01:20:32,095 Sir Archie! Sir Archibald! 709 01:20:32,789 --> 01:20:36,703 Stop playing tricks. I'm scared. 710 01:20:38,558 --> 01:20:43,046 - Let's make a deal. Come out! - I'm here. What deal? 711 01:20:44,132 --> 01:20:48,454 You must give me back my husband, whole and healthy. 712 01:20:48,480 --> 01:20:52,694 You leave us in peace, and in return ... 713 01:20:53,717 --> 01:20:56,678 - I'll be yours for one last time. - We do it for the last time? 714 01:20:58,722 --> 01:21:01,072 With your permission, I'm going to take care of your husband. 715 01:21:06,647 --> 01:21:09,491 Oh, God! 716 01:21:10,088 --> 01:21:14,027 I forgot the magic formula to get out of here. 717 01:21:19,957 --> 01:21:23,976 Answer me, Mr. Fumagalli! 718 01:21:24,578 --> 01:21:28,656 You'll be fine. Please wake up, Mr. Fumagalli. 719 01:21:33,761 --> 01:21:37,665 No problem. He's okay now. 720 01:21:45,444 --> 01:21:50,071 Mr. Fumagalli! You are back! 721 01:21:50,106 --> 01:21:51,052 Please! 722 01:21:52,984 --> 01:21:59,408 Revenge! So a mind to learn to cook more bite on ... 723 01:21:59,829 --> 01:22:02,499 - Angus! - What a scare, sire! 724 01:22:02,549 --> 01:22:05,621 Must I always endure these scares? 725 01:22:05,646 --> 01:22:11,153 - Give me the potion. - It was resolved to cook ... 726 01:22:11,249 --> 01:22:14,237 - Bravo! - Here, my lord! 727 01:22:14,291 --> 01:22:18,380 Enjoy. 728 01:22:19,076 --> 01:22:22,715 "A cannibal who likes prosp�turile" ... ! 729 01:22:23,642 --> 01:22:25,581 Your husband is recovering. 730 01:22:27,832 --> 01:22:31,154 - Thank you, Baron. - Now, music and champagne. 731 01:22:38,207 --> 01:22:42,757 We have a pact. I came for my end of the bargain. 732 01:22:53,290 --> 01:22:56,937 Et voila! 733 01:23:02,596 --> 01:23:06,961 I have to be careful with this potion. I'm becoming addicted. 734 01:23:12,732 --> 01:23:16,244 To us, my beautiful Italian lady! 735 01:23:20,244 --> 01:23:23,424 - Please! - Thanks! 736 01:23:23,610 --> 01:23:26,923 Cheers! 737 01:23:31,709 --> 01:23:35,402 Now let us get intimate. I'm so happy. 738 01:23:36,251 --> 01:23:40,844 - You will be gentle with me? - Fear not, milady! It will be like a dream. 739 01:23:40,966 --> 01:23:45,036 Wonderful and unforgettable ... 740 01:23:51,485 --> 01:23:53,741 Sir Archibald! 741 01:23:55,549 --> 01:23:59,841 Sir Archibald! You are supposed to be a great lover ... 742 01:23:59,974 --> 01:24:03,888 Wake up, Sir Archibald! 743 01:24:04,447 --> 01:24:06,983 Sir Archibald! What a flop, a liar and ... 744 01:24:09,020 --> 01:24:10,339 impotent! 745 01:24:12,379 --> 01:24:14,660 SUPER Aphrodisiac 746 01:24:16,587 --> 01:24:21,263 You took the wrong potion, sire. Fooled you ... 747 01:24:27,527 --> 01:24:30,484 You feel better, eh? I'll give you something... 748 01:24:30,502 --> 01:24:32,807 to make you feel good. 749 01:24:38,321 --> 01:24:42,728 - How are you, darling? - He is slowly recovering. 750 01:24:52,234 --> 01:24:55,354 Camillio! Why is smoke coming out of your ears? 751 01:25:02,528 --> 01:25:04,867 The engine is ready ... 752 01:25:08,935 --> 01:25:12,977 What's wrong with you? 753 01:25:21,146 --> 01:25:24,681 I'm so horny! 754 01:25:52,666 --> 01:25:55,615 Plough them deep! 755 01:26:33,497 --> 01:26:37,939 Baron of Blackcastle! Up yours! 756 01:28:00,028 --> 01:28:02,636 Go and tell that Italian, his car is ready. 757 01:29:15,101 --> 01:29:18,819 Camillo! Does it hurt, darling? 758 01:29:20,487 --> 01:29:24,172 - What a shot! - No. Accident! 759 01:29:24,355 --> 01:29:26,745 - What happened? - What do you mean, what happened? 760 01:29:26,745 --> 01:29:30,563 We have hit a tree and you remained unconscious for more than two hours. 761 01:29:31,366 --> 01:29:35,714 We got lost in the fog ...I don't even know where we are. 762 01:29:36,740 --> 01:29:40,653 Look there! I think I saw a light. 763 01:29:40,966 --> 01:29:42,593 Yes. It's a light. 764 01:29:47,612 --> 01:29:50,666 - I see an inn. - Maybe it's a castle. 765 01:29:50,743 --> 01:29:52,643 - A castle? - Yes, a castle. 766 01:29:52,653 --> 01:29:55,924 I've changed my mind, dear. Let's go back to Tradate. 767 01:29:55,924 --> 01:29:58,037 - Tradate? - Yes. 768 01:29:58,288 --> 01:30:03,384 If we go to the inn, they'll send us to that castle ... 769 01:30:03,473 --> 01:30:06,566 with that randy ghost ...